Alphabet Bitches
Alphabet Bitches
Alphabet Bitches
Was playing on his IPhone as I touched the father wheeling his kids around the Bi-Lo earlier today
“Buddy that just isn’t appropriate music to be playing out loud in the Bi-Lo”, I say to a young father wheeling his three boys around the Bi-Lo a few minutes ago
Only to find a Blank stare looking back at me as though someone just interrupted his Bi-Lo sponsored concert, and he’s relatively unhappy about it
“You see my young friend this is not the place you wanna have your Alphabet Bitch concert while other moms and dads, daughters and kids like yours are just walking around. I suspect most of the folks in here feel the way I do but no ones gonna tell you straight up like me, cause you know why, cause they all don’t know how reasonable a fell you are and they all think all you’re gonna do is tell me to duck off and then shoot me”, I look up at him as though he knows I’m not in my right mind cause I can’t stop blinking and signal thinking about who his mama is and I reiterate that if his mama were here he’s gotta ask himself how’d she feel about her grand-babies listening to alphabet bitches in the Bi-Lo
“What the fuck is you talking about bitch, these ain’t even my kids and I don’t know what your problem is!!!”, my new young friend says to me as the three little boys scrabble together inside their nascar grocery cart
“These aren’t your kids, these three little boys aren’t your kids, well then alright buddy I feel you, you aints got no skin in the game then, and their mamas gave them to you and said do whatever, whenever and however you need to do, but keep them outta my house! Well if that’s the case then I understand truly I do buddy, but listen, here’s the skinny just so you know ….although you thinking your ass is cool riding around the grocery store playing alphabet bitches, and trust me buddy, I feel you. I know you just trying to show these little homies here what it’s like to be sportin the load even at the Bi-Lo and that young fellas gots to have his bass on, even in the fake car at the Bi-Lo, but you see player, that kind of language aired publicly just isn’t doing you any good and for darn sure it ain’t doing these kids no good, so why don’t you just take these fancy apple ear plugs I went to my truck and got you just so you can listen to your music while the kids listen to mine”, and as I hand over my come-with-my-iPhone box earplugs and I turn on Super Why on my phone for the kids
Now some of you might think it wrong of me to approach a young fella surfing his Cars cart around the Bi-Lo playing Alphabet Bitches while carting around three children under the age of eight, but frankly I just can’t not seem to stop myself these days, and trust me I understand why folks don’t say anything anymore, but it’s just gotten to me since I fell off the wagon of keeping my mouth shut regardless of the implied impertinence on my end.
Also I felt pretty secure since there was a for-hire sheriff just around the corner
But all I kept thinking the entire time I stood in front of my alphabet bitches dude is how are things ever gonna improve if folks like me wanna help folks like him and yet I can’t even begin to explain the ABC’s of the absolute absurdity and selfishness of his very public actions without any acknowledged significance to himself